How Unrealistic Are Your Standards?

So, How Unrealistic Are Your Standards? We all have standards, whether for relationships, careers, or even the kind of food we like to eat. But have you ever stopped to wonder if your standards are realistic?

Welcome to our quiz & guide to understanding your standards and expectations.

Why Understanding Your Standards Matters?

Standards serve as benchmarks that guide our choices and behaviors. They can be a double-edged sword.

Unrealistic standards can lead to disappointment, stress, and strained relationships. That’s why understanding your standards is crucial for your well-being and happiness.

Are Your Standards Unrealistic? Signs to Look Out For?

• You’re never satisfied with what you have.
• You often feel disappointed.
• You have a long list of “must-haves” for potential partners
• You’re constantly stressed about meeting your expectations.

What are my Standards for a Guy?

Emotional Availability

One of the key standards you might have is emotional availability. This means that the person is open to discussing feelings, capable of empathy, and willing to work on the emotional aspects of a relationship.

Honesty and Integrity

Honesty and integrity are often at the top of many people’s lists. This involves being truthful, keeping promises, and showing a consistent character.

Intellectual Compatibility

While you don’t have to agree on everything, intellectual compatibility can make conversations more engaging and allow for a deeper emotional connection.

Physical Attraction

Physical attraction is often one of the first things people consider, but it’s important to remember that attraction can grow over time and is just one piece of the puzzle.

Shared Interests and Values

Having shared interests makes it easier to enjoy time together, while shared values can provide a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

Financial Stability

Financial stability is important for some, especially if you’re considering a long-term future with someone. This doesn’t necessarily mean wealth, but rather a responsible approach to finances.

Communication Skills

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. This means being able to discuss issues openly, listen attentively, and resolve conflicts maturely.

Sense of Humor

A sense of humor can make the good times better and the tough times easier to handle. It’s often an overlooked, yet important, quality.

Family Values

If family is important to you, then you’ll likely want a partner who shares those values, whether it means being close to your own family or wanting to start one in the future.

Long-Term Potential

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you might consider how well you can envision a future with this person. This includes compatibility in lifestyle choices, career goals, and life ambitions.

These are just some general standards to consider. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and your own needs and wants in a relationship. Also, read what are your chances of finding your dream guy.

The correlation between high standards and mental health

Having high standards isn’t inherently bad; in fact, it can be a driving force that pushes you towards achieving great things.

However, the line between high and unrealistic standards is often blurred, and crossing it can have significant implications for your mental health.

The Positive Side of High Standards

When your standards are high but achievable, they can serve as motivating factors that propel you toward success.

Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal endeavors, high standards can lead to high rewards, including a sense of accomplishment and improved self-esteem.

The Dark Side of Unrealistic Standards

On the flip side, when standards become unrealistic, they can turn into a source of constant stress and anxiety.

The perpetual feeling of falling short can lead to negative self-talk, reduced self-esteem, and in severe cases, even depression.

Try this Male Delusion Calculator for Anxiety

The Mental Health Impact

The constant pursuit of unattainable goals can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

Over time, this can manifest as chronic stress, which has been linked to a host of health issues, including heart disease, digestive problems, and a weakened immune system, in addition to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression.

Finding the Balance

The key is to find a balance between having standards that challenge you and being realistic about what you can achieve. Self-awareness is crucial here; being aware of your limits while striving for improvement can help you set achievable goals.

If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable insights into your behavioral patterns and offer strategies to manage your standards healthily.

7 Tips for Managing Your Expectations

Managing your expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards; it means setting realistic goals that are both challenging and achievable. Here are some tips to help you find that sweet spot.

Self-Reflection is Key

Take some time to reflect on your past experiences. Were your expectations met? If not, were they too high, or were there other factors at play? Understanding your past can offer insights into how you should set your future expectations.

Be Mindful of External Influences

Social media, peer pressure, and societal norms can all influence our expectations. Being aware of these external factors can help you set more realistic standards for yourself.

Set SMART Goals

SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework can help you set more realistic expectations in all aspects of life.

Celebrate Small Wins

Don’t wait for a major achievement to give yourself some credit. Celebrating small wins along the way can boost your morale and help you adjust your expectations positively.

Seek External Input

Sometimes we’re too close to a situation to view it objectively. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer a different perspective.

Be Flexible

Life is unpredictable, and rigidity can lead to disappointment. Being flexible with your expectations allows you to adapt to situations more easily, reducing potential stress and frustration.

Practice Gratitude

Focusing on what you already have rather than what you lack can shift your mindset and help you set more realistic expectations. A daily gratitude journal can be a simple yet effective tool for this.

Quiz: How Unrealistic Are Your Standards About Relationships?

1. What’s most important to you in a partner?

• A. Good looks – they must be physically attractive.
• B. Intelligence – they should be able to engage in deep conversations.
• C. Sense of humor – they must make me laugh.
• D. Compatibility – we should share common interests and values.

2. How do you feel about your partner’s career and income?

• A. They must earn more than me and have a prestigious job.
• B. It’s important, but not a deal-breaker.
• C. I don’t care about their income as long as they are passionate about what they do.
• D. Their career is their choice; it doesn’t affect my view of them.

3. How should your partner handle disagreements?

• A. They should always agree with me to avoid conflict.
• B. It’s okay to disagree, but they should ultimately concede to my point of view.
• C. Disagreements are normal; we should work through them respectfully.
• D. They should challenge me and hold their ground if they believe they’re right.

4. What’s your view on your partner having friends of the opposite sex?

• A. not okay.
• B. I’m a bit uncomfortable, but it can be manageable.
• C. It’s fine as long as I know who they are and feel secure in our relationship.
• D. Completely okay, trust is key.

5. How much time should your partner spend with you?

• A. All of their free time should be spent with me.
• B. Most of their free time, but it’s okay to have a little apart.
• C. A healthy balance between our together time and individual activities.
• D. It’s important they have their own life and hobbies outside of our relationship.

6. How do you envision the perfect date?

• A. An extravagant and expensive outing that spares no expense.
• B. Something thoughtful and romantic, but doesn’t have to be costly.
• C. A simple but meaningful activity that we both enjoy.
• D. Anything as long as we’re spending quality time together.

Scoring:

• Mostly A’s: Your standards might be considered high and possibly unrealistic. Reflect on what’s truly important in a relationship.
• Mostly B’s: You have certain expectations but seem open to compromise. It’s good to have standards, but flexibility can also be valuable.
• Mostly C’s and D’s: Your standards seem realistic and grounded in mutual respect and understanding. This balance can contribute to healthy, lasting relationships.

The Psychology Behind Unrealistic Standards

It’s not just about having a checklist for your ideal partner or the perfect job. The psychology behind unrealistic standards delves deeper into our beliefs, values, and even our upbringing.

Studies have shown that high standards can lead to stress and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Social media also plays a role, as it often portrays an idealized version of reality that can skew our expectations.

The Role of Social Media

Social media platforms are filled with picture-perfect moments, but remember, what you’re seeing is often a curated version of someone’s life.

This can unconsciously raise your standards to an unrealistic level, making you feel like you’re constantly falling short.

Societal Expectations

From a young age, we’re bombarded with messages about what success looks like, how an ideal relationship should be, and even what we should look like. These societal norms can unconsciously seep into our expectations, making them unrealistic and unattainable.

FAQs

Conclusion

Understanding your standards and expectations is not just a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process that requires introspection and sometimes even external guidance. Our quiz serves as a starting point for this self-discovery journey, offering you valuable insights into your expectations in various aspects of life.

But remember, a quiz is just a tool. For a deeper understanding and actionable steps, consulting with professionals in psychology or counseling is highly recommended. They can provide personalized advice tailored to your unique situation, helping you find a balanced approach to your expectations.

Moreover, it’s essential to be aware of the societal pressures and influences, especially from social media, that can unconsciously raise our standards. Being mindful of these factors can help you set more realistic and attainable goals, leading to a more fulfilling and less stressful life.