Red Flag Calculator — How Many Red Flags Does Your Partner Have?
Answer 20 questions about your partner’s behavior to get a red flag score — backed by relationship research from the Gottman Institute and clinical psychology literature on unhealthy relationship patterns.
What the Red Flag Calculator Measures
The calculator evaluates 20 behaviors drawn from relationship research, weighted by severity. The four most heavily weighted behaviors come from Dr. John Gottman’s research at the Gottman Institute — the “Four Horsemen” that predict relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Additional factors — isolation, gaslighting, monitoring, boundary violations — are drawn from clinical psychology literature on coercive control and emotionally abusive relationship patterns identified by the American Psychological Association (APA).
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Red Flag Calculator?
The Red Flag Calculator is a free quiz that scores your relationship against 20+ common warning signs including communication issues, trust problems, controlling behavior, and emotional manipulation. It returns a red flag percentage and categorized breakdown.
How accurate is the Red Flag Calculator?
The calculator uses relationship psychology research from the Gottman Institute and other sources to identify evidence-based warning signs. It is meant as an awareness tool, not a clinical assessment. If you score high, consider speaking with a licensed therapist.
What counts as a red flag in a relationship?
Common red flags include: controlling behavior, isolation from friends and family, frequent lying, explosive anger, emotional manipulation, disrespect for boundaries, substance abuse, and a history of abusive relationships. Our calculator covers 20+ research-backed indicators.
Should I leave if I have many red flags?
Having multiple red flags suggests significant concerns, but the decision to leave depends on safety, severity, and whether patterns are fixable. If you feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) for confidential help.
Is the Red Flag Calculator anonymous?
Yes, completely. No account, no email, no tracking of your answers. The quiz runs entirely in your browser and we do not store your responses. Take the Red Flag Calculator free at delusioncalc.com/red-flag-calculator.