Red Flag or Green Flag Quiz — Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Quick Answer: This quiz presents 20 real relationship situations and asks you to identify them as a red flag, green flag, or yellow flag. Your results are scored against Gottman Institute research on healthy vs. unhealthy relationship patterns. Green flags predict long-term success; red flags predict breakdown.
What Are Red Flags in a Relationship?
In relationship psychology, red flags are behaviors or patterns that research consistently links to unhealthy, harmful, or potentially abusive relationship dynamics. The most clinically significant red flags come from Dr. John Gottman’s research at the Gottman Institute, which identified four behaviors that predict relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy — known as the Four Horsemen:
- Criticism — attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific behaviors
- Contempt — treating a partner as inferior through mocking, eye-rolling, or dismissal (the single strongest predictor of breakdown)
- Defensiveness — refusing to accept any responsibility in conflict
- Stonewalling — emotionally shutting down and refusing to engage
What Are Green Flags in a Relationship?
Green flags are behaviors the Gottman Institute and relationship science identify as predictors of lasting, satisfying partnerships:
- Repair attempts — making gestures to reconnect after conflict
- Turning toward — responding positively to bids for connection and attention
- Taking responsibility — acknowledging one’s role in conflicts without being prompted
- Emotional safety — creating space for vulnerability without judgment
- Supporting autonomy — encouraging individual friendships and personal growth
See also: Red Flag Calculator | List of Relationship Standards | Female Delusion Calculator